Unraveling the Veil

What is lifting the veil, on an individual level? It’s the revealing of yourself to you. It’s peeking back at all the moments, feelings, thoughts that you had but instantly shut down. It’s remembering the parts of you that make you who you are, but that you forget to appreciate. Have gratitude for yourself. Have gratitude for your patience with yourself. And if you don’t have patience with yourself? Now is the time to start.

I wanted to write. I wanted to use writing to make myself heard. Even as a child I wrote down in a school notebook sidebar that one day I would write something that millions of people across the world would read, and that it would empower them. My biggest fear in life has been that I don’t have an important unique message for humanity. While this is something I don’t always acknowledge, it takes up a lot of space in my subconscious. It manifests in my reactionary thoughts, feelings and actions. 

I strive daily to find what is unique about myself. I have never accepted many labels that could easily be applied to me, knowing that one day I will find what is uniquely my own. I feel strongly that this is the ultimate struggle of humanity. We know we are important, but we can’t tell you why. This is why we howl at the moon.

Expression of uniqueness is divinity. 

The reason this time in history is so important and transformational at every conceptual level, is that we will be discovering our uniqueness. We will understand what it truly means to be special – this word that we sometimes ridicule, but long so deeply to be.

Every cell in my body tells me that my purpose is to document my journey. This has always been my habit, my secret lover. I understand unity by experiencing the feelings of the collective in my own literally unique inhabitance of space and time.

I’ve pursued channeling, and the idea of that connection does intrigue me. But my ultimate desire and most cherished activity of my existence on this planet is to channel myself, the source that is at my very own core. It’s why I feel drawn to meditations and accounts of the center of the earth; it’s why one of my past lives is preserved in history through letters to my mother during World War I.

Today I make a promise to myself to fulfill my purpose and goal, despite what supposed concessions or rewards become entangled with it along the way. I love myself, and I don’t care who knows it. My blessing to you is that I hope my words inspire you to love yourself more, because there is no limit to how much you can.

Today I read this Rumi quote:

“I have been a seeker and I still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars. Soul receives from soul that knowledge, therefore not by book nor from tongue.”

I simultaneously resonated and bristled at it. While home alone, I decided to partake of one of my favorite pastimes – smoking a little weed and then hopping in the shower. I put on some ‘70s dance party essentials and soon found myself dancing in the shower. It sounds dangerous, but I promise I’ve been doing it for years! I meet myself most directly in the shower. I’m a water sign, and I resonate highly with whales and the idea of holding down a vibration. But the dancing started long before that. I used to say that I wrote my best in the shower. Even the writing that just ended up being about writing. Because that is my journey, and, as I mentioned, it’s ever-present yet elusive. 

Today’s synchronicity spiraled from humanity’s most poignant struggle, to relating a quote to myself, to getting lost in a tangent of self-reflective thought – while trying to convey a spiritual experience that sent me running out of the shower unshaved and unconditioned. Light bounces from mirror to mirror along these spirals of synchronicity, shining upon bits of information that come revolving into our view – if we can only pay attention.

And so when water and weed (representing my most resonant elements of water and earth from my Pisces sun and Taurus moon) allow me to sink into this vortex of synchronistic energy, I find that it sparks my excitement and energy to pursue my passion (my dormant fire and air)!

Today I also read a quote about how when you wonder what other people will think of you, you’re really only judging yourself. This is poignant because I must as a human allow the thought to penetrate that asks, “What will people think of this?” (that is, the writing that I am sharing), and I have to let that thought float right on by. If it gets stuck, I have to take a look at it. I have to consciously remind myself that the whole point is to carry the intention of expressing my uniqueness. The reflection of it back to me through others is secondary. It’s informative and challenging, yes, but it aids to allow only more learning about myself as a result, not to cause me to feel negatively about myself. No one can cause that, and if I catch myself thinking that they do, I again have to remind myself that my self love is unshakable. Being human is proactive! So much so that I went to continue my shower and somehow found myself right back here typing these words instead of shaving my legs.

And then I step back and think, not what will OTHERS think of this, but what will FUTURE ME think when I go back and read it?! Sometimes my musings don’t age well within my perception (I’m always “more right” later in linear time … I simply have more knowledge and experiences) but I can be grateful for this because it demonstrates forward progress, and there is nothing embarrassing about that!

I recently watched a short webinar called Awaken Through Writing, and all I could think is how right it is that you can write your way into your subconscious and meet your higher self. Talk about expanding your awareness! Forget the outer world, our inner worlds are deeper than oceans, and it’s nothing short of exciting to think of studying myself into infinity … because that includes you, us and everything! We’re the same, we’re unique, we’re special.

What is the Universe? Part 2

What do we mean when we say something is a sign from “the universe”? What or who is trying to communicate with us? Why can we more readily accept the notion of a sign than a direct personal communication?

It’s easy to picture the universe as a vast expanse of darkness in outer space, and perhaps we feel comfort from the vaguely conscious idea that random spacial energies are working in our favor. But if we call it communication, we are admitting that unseen entities exist, and what a taboo. Are we talking about ghosts? Well, at least we know ghosts. They were our family members; they were human once, and relatively recently. Are we talking about God? What a can of worms “he” is! Clearly, we must ease our way into the idea that “someone” is there – watching – even if that watcher is helping.

Our spirit guides (including those we affectionately call ghosts) can and do use synchronicities to help us discern their existence. How can this be? How can a ghost coordinate a coincidence? These non-human beings have simply mastered the highest power of manifestation – the instant, tangible arrival of an intention. While each spirit guide will have its own story of origin, they are essentially our higher selves – the other-dimensional versions of us, right here on earth – showing us the creative power of our own thoughts. Confirmation of our connection to the high-vibrational wavelength of our right next step.

We can increase the volume of synchronicities in our awareness. Oracle cards are a gentle way of introducing these intentionally. I have found that pulling cards very often produces extremely literal results. For example, a woman I read cards for was moving from a rainy city to a sunny state, and the cards that showed up were Fog and Sun. Another woman was debating whether the spirits of an old building would approve of her painting a red door. The card that showed up featured a red door.

Human bodies are receivers – constantly receiving information, whether we realize it or not. One way we receive hidden information is via the air that we breathe, and we then transmit it to others via the air we breathe together. Some refer to the limitless information stored in the air (light and vibration) around us as the akashic records. In this way, the universe is an infinite storehouse of information that is bouncing around as colorful resonance, moving in and out of our bodies every moment. But you have to be listening to hear it. Those who call themselves channelers are just actively listening to the information that is coming through, but we all have the ability to “tune in” to information that we typically ignore in our conditioned state of being.

Create moments of listening. This listening is not only hearing sound as we know it – it’s observation of everything, it’s activating your innate openness to receive. Observe your body, observe nature, observe silence. We can call this meditation, but everyone can create their own experience of it. You’ll get much the same effect from lying in a nice bath or a float tank, or taking a solo walk in nature. We’re highly conditioned to go-go-go, but we distance ourselves from the source of our existence – the source of love, joy and the fulfillment of our deepest desires – dare I say, God – if we don’t take time to honor our connection to the universe, which is nothing but the mechanics of connection itself.

The Solstice Portal and Our Future

Everything I am hearing in the spiritual and metaphysical community lately has said that December 2020 will be the greatest month ever. I’ve resolved to do my part to make that happen. There is so much to do – and yet so little.

This month will give birth to the new year. We must decide how we want this year to go. How do I want to feel? Creative, free … live and let live. Sunshine, water, fresh air, connection to the planet. Lots of writing, meditation, nature walks. People relaxed. People enjoying each other, understanding that “other” is a construct – one we are outgrowing.

It’s easy to see why the awakening is a slow process. It’s so simple, yet so new that it feels complex. Everyone is so worked up over their own problems – many self-made and therefore full of attachments – that it’s hard to let go and just breathe and accept.

“Radical acceptance” is trending. It’s not the ultimate knowledge, but it’s a huge first step. We think of acceptance as just coming to terms with reality, taking what’s in your reality and understanding that no amount of resistance will make your problems go away. In fact, look at the language we are using here. To accept is to receive. What we really are getting to in this first step is acknowledging that our problems are our own, that we hold them in our hands, minds and hearts as gifts that we have given to ourselves.

We present ourselves with challenges for the purpose of learning. This is why we all chose to be on Earth – a lesson everyone will soon realize as well. It’s actually the perfect next step for the average human beginning this path. We all acknowledge as a given that we have souls. People may define this differently, but you would be hard pressed to find a human who wouldn’t admit to believing on some level that they have a soul. They may even admit to not understanding what it is or how it works, but we all know in our hearts that our emotions – particularly the strongest emotions of joy and hurt – connect us to our souls. (This is one reason atheism doesn’t have a leg to stand on – without a soul, who is it exactly that has hurt feelings?)

Animals and even insects experience emotions – I have seen fear in a bug, but have I seen love? Yes! Those feelings are bigger than the bug itself, and they represent its multidimensionality. Our emotional responses to situations show us our own dimensions. They show us whether we have our light on, or if we have a blockage preventing the light from moving through us. And what we will begin learning now and in 2021, is how to create new ways to solve problems by finding new ways to see them, new perspectives, other perspectives, new truths coming into light.

To have a problem is to be pro-blemish. None of us desire blemishes – we want freedom from these, and what we’ll find is that freedom itself is the solution to our problems. Freedom from the Control that has been embedded in our existence. Can we decide as a collective that we will no longer allow ourselves to be Controlled? Can we give ourselves the gift of Freedom this Christmas? Can we step back from our attachments to “normal” and investigate ourselves into a new reality?

As the sun rises, I declare YES. We will find the doorway to this new reality right in our own beingness. All you have to do to participate is stop for a few moments and feel your own breath. With every inhale you can welcome light and calm into your body, and with every exhale you can share that light and calm with others, even without saying a word.

We have all the time we need to spread the word … to spread the love. Love going viral – imagine that! We can smother this bully with kindness, this consciousness of Control will break.

Our planet has let us know that she will take back her sovereignty one way or another … we can choose to be here to support her by actively loving and supporting ourselves, or we can move on to our next experience outside of this lifetime.

The present moment is everything. The past and future don’t even exist. But they are affected by our perception of them – our perception creates them! Let’s use the intense energy of this now month to be the love we want to see, and the portals we go through together will magnify our intentions so they will resonate far into the coming years. Let’s bang this gong of love and know through our choice that it vibrates all around us and in our hearts, reverberating deeply. May we all choose to witness it.

What is the Universe? Part 1

What would it be like to write from the perspective of God? This is a question I involuntarily asked myself one night in my New York apartment. It was probably 2009, and I was on my way to bed on an average night, when I felt a sudden compulsion to write the following exploration of the creation of the Universe.

“When there was vastness and silence, I filled my own void with ever-expanding gasses. I weaved patterns in smoke and felt a tingling sensation in swirls and puffs of non-matter. Time did not exist, and thought did not exist. Motion and darkness were all that engaged me, though they consisted of me and I of them. I recall a pattern of infinite, boomerang circles that gained speed and intensity until they became so tightly packed that a suction appeared within the center of the fragile mass. It pulled each ring of consistency into an increasingly dense, chaotic knot, until the knot encompassed every piece of me – or so it seemed. For what I might now term millions of years, the knot of chaos compounded. It never grew in size, but it filled in upon itself and began to vibrate. It vibrated first slowly and hummed. I focused on the humming until it became popping. It popped until the popping became a deep, shrill harmonic. It clanged and screamed and I felt myself develop a thought: “What if?” At that moment, the chaotic knot of me exploded, bursting with such force that it seemed as if nothing had happened. But I was met with new sensations: light and texture. I saw and could control pieces of myself that appeared unlike myself. I could distinguish emptiness from that which was filled. The emptiness was motionless, yet I could move in the context of matter that flew in circles that I remembered. And remembering came to exist, because there had been change, and objects came to exist, and I found it necessary to have thoughts about the objects. I needed to distinguish them, and so they had names. On some I concentrated, and others I felt no desire to notice or maintain. I communicated with the masses by urging creation of new masses that could be housed within each. Some were successful, others I sent flying in broken pieces.”

I was an atheist at the time of writing, yet something within me was so curious about God that I was led to examine the birth of awareness on a whim. Now I know that I channeled this memory because I am God, and you are God, and together we are the Universe.

Is Time an Illusion?

Is time meaningless? It’s often said that time is an illusion, but how can this concept move from knowledge to understanding, and ultimately to wisdom?

Time is the movement of awareness during the never-ending process of change. It’s the ingrained act of surrender to the flow of physical reality. We have clocks; we grow old. We have deadlines and appointments. Time has been inescapable in this human form, relentless, to my chagrin. Our lessons on Earth include patience, but isn’t that just a challenge to shift your perspective of time?

The 3D world uses time to organize action. It provides order to not only our interactions with others, but also to our maintenance of these human bodies. The circular clock tracks the movement of the sun, the amount of light and darkness we perceive based on our physical location on the globe. The summer solstice is the peak of light, and every year comes with a bit of sadness for the ensuing diminished daylight.

If the prophecy of three days of darkness occurs in the coming years, we will each personally begin to question time, if we haven’t already. We’ll be forced into the surreal; I already feel giddy with delight at the novelty of this concept. My daily motivation is the excitement of living in this time – the excitement of experiencing the expansion of the collective consciousness to include the cosmic aspects of our past and future, and therefore our cosmic present.

When our souls chose to incarnate on this planet, we chose to shield ourselves from the knowledge of life outside our personal understanding of humanness. We knew that linear time would give us the opportunity to generate a metaphysical big bang. The pressure is building – the energy is collecting. Time is illusory because it requires a beginning and end. It’s like asking for the beginning of numbers: You think you have it at 1, until you learn about negative numbers – the dark side of math! The balance of infinity is that there is a center. There is a zero point, which is the polarity of all things in every direction. Reach your zero point, reach your limitlessness.

Knowledge of your limitlessness allows you to make conscious decisions by asking yourself: What version of myself do I want to embody in this moment?

You can find the ability to shift your experience of your now moment by deciding to embody the highest version of yourself that you can access. How high you’re able to go is limited only by your beliefs. The more sunrises you can count within your physical past, the more light you’ll be able to shine on your multidimensionality. The more you focus on this goal, the more you expand. The more you expand, the more you understand what higher selves are entering your consciousness. The more you desire this as an outcome, the more you are able to perceive that is is already so, the more highly inspired action you will take.

We are Crystal Spirited

We are all crystal spirited. We are all one. Our planet is awakening to the new age, this is true. But truth is not so clear cut as we might wish. The path to enlightenment and ascension is mapped with modalities, systems, healings … the challenge is to breathe through these waves without expectation or attachment, and to accept the light and the darkness as equals. This much wonder can be overwhelming, but it’s limitlessly sweet.

It’s my goal to chronicle my journey as a new spiritual traveler, to offer artful observations of my truth to fellow seekers. I have felt intimidated by the impression that everyone in the “spiritual world” is an established expert, having committed to their specialty in great depth. I strive to be an expert only in the field of myself, and in knowing that we all share the oneness of human experience, I trust that those who resonate with my vibration will feel welcome, seen and appreciated here while striving also to become experts of self.

The way to embody the changes you wish to see in the world is to do what you love, to deeply feel love and to expand that love. So here I am. I invite you to play with me.